ruffles's guide to becoming a better user

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ruffles
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ruffles's guide to becoming a better user

Post by ruffles » 02 Apr 2016, 18:14

thank you so much annie
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this is my guide on how to be an objectively awesome user. i wouldn't necessarily use myself as an example. i think a more appropriate example is Brutal (shoutouts to copcake, puellamagi,etc). now, you can say i'm biased because im friends with these people, but you know what? screw you they're cool

1) make threads. make threads to start discussions. lucidcatharsis has an excellent guide to thread making. participate in your own threads, you're the one who started the damn thing. make opinion pieces. make anime analysis's. we seriously lack good anime analysis on this site, which i would like to see more of. actually, just analyze anything in general. politics, video games, film, or christmas stockings. post articles. post statistics about crazy muslims and jews. make threads about books. make threads about the philosophical implications behind midget-wrestling. make threads about your favorite bands and WHY you like them. as long as you're starting good topics for discussion, you're on your way to becoming a good user.

2) make yourself an interesting character. have a unique personality. i personally enjoy(ed) users like brutal, rottenbutter, twm, and others almost exclusively because they were interesting people. r̶o̶t̶t̶e̶n̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶a̶ ̶f̶u̶c̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶b̶r̶o̶n̶y̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶y̶e̶t̶ ̶h̶e̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶c̶o̶o̶l̶e̶r̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶n̶ ̶m̶o̶s̶t̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ have personality quirks. make yourself memorable. wait, i mean, don't make yourself memorable for being incredibly stupid/making incredibly stupid decisions l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶m̶e̶ .

3) participate in threads. you know what threads NOT to participate in? f*** forum games. literally everyone ever and everyone who will ever exist has participated in forum games. FORUM GAMES. a few months ago, i made of list things that are more fun to do than participating in f*** forum games.

1. contracting pink eye
2. getting bullied
3. getting lost in your new neighborhood
4. having a lengthy discussion in a forum about how horrible fairy tail is.
5. having a lengthy discussion in a forum about how good death NOTE is.
6. having a lengthy discussion about how terrible bring me the horizon is.
7. having a lengthy discussion about how awesome frank zappa is.
8. explaining why someone in a forum has horrible taste in anime.
9. explaining why someone in a forum has good taste in anime.
10. explaining why someone in a forum has horrible taste in music.
11. explaining why someone in a forum has good taste in music.
12. taking a s*** and not wiping.
11. taking a s*** and wiping.
13. taking a s*** and wiping, but not flushing.
13. taking a s*** and wiping, then flushing the toilet.
14. taking a s*** and wiping, then flushing the toilet, then washing your hands.
15. taking a s*** and wiping, then flushing the toilet, then not washing your hands.
16. sleeping
17. eating
18. kidnaping your crush and starving them in your basement.
19. playing video games.
20. playing bad video games.
21. watching movies alone.
22. watching movies with friends.
23. watching bad movies alone and laughing at them alone.
24. watching bad movies with friends and laughing at them with friends.
25. having an existential crisis.
26. realizing that everything you have done and everything you will do with ultimately be meaningless in the grand scheme of the universe.
27. realizing that the girl you like in school will never like you back and you will die alone.
28. realizing that you were born alone.
29. realizing that you will die alone.
30. dying
31. discussing why final fantasy 13 is one of the worst games of all time with your friend.
32. NOT watching pewdiepie.
33. making a "farewell" forum on anispace and returning the same day.
34. making a "greetings" forum on anispace and never logging on again.
35. not going on anispace.
36. contributing to forum discussions on anispace.
37. making video game reviews.
38. making movie reviews.
39. making anime reviews.
40. slitting your wrists.
41. slitting your wrists with a butter knife.
42. wallowing in self pity.
43. browsing /mu/
44. browsing /b/
45. browsing /v/
46. browsing /x/
47. browsing /tv/
48. browsing /a/
49. browsing literally any f*** 4chan forum.
50. LISTENING to the mars volta - frances the mute
51. building a tower out of lego blocks
52. studying for that geometry test you have on monday.
53. building a car out of lego blocks in a lego game.
54. killing yourself.
55. hanging yourself.
56. drowning yourself.
57. taking shots of bleach with a friend.
58. going to the theater to watch "the visit".
59. purchasing a copy of "after earth" on dvd or bluray.
60. reading articles on complex.com
61. purchasing smoothies.
62. purchasing food from trader joes.
63. studying greek history.
64. dipping your hand in a ice cold fish tank.
65. dipping your children in hydrofluoric acid.
66. dipping your hand in hydrofluoric acid.
67. reblogging from aesthetic tumblr blogs.
68. debunking feminist myths on tumblr.
69. debating about the existence of god on a christian chatango CHAT.
70. SENDING nudes to your mother.
71. SENDING nudes to your brother.
72. sending nudes to your sister.
73. sending nudes to your father.
74. sending nudes to your grandfather.
75. sending nudes to your grandmother.
76. reading articles explaining why if superman existed in real life, he would not be able to have sex with lois lane, or otherwise, he'd literally crush her during penetration.
77. watching any game theory video.
78. watching any film theory video.
79. watching any frame a painting on youtube.
80. watching endless jess on youtube.
81. watching digibro on youtube.
82. watching penguinz0 on youtube.
83. watching yourmoviesucksdotorg on youtube.
84. watching any episode of how i met your mother.
85. waking up early in the morning to LISTEN to the breakfest club on your radio.
86. reading this list.
87. making fun of conan.
88. making fun of furries.
89. making fun of bronies.
90. making fun of yourself.
91. after making fun of yourself, crawling into your bed and crying yourself to sleep because you cannot handle the soul-crushing truths.
92. explaining to a pleb why music taste is objective.
93. breaking your f*** tv.
94. watching 4 hour conspiracy theory videos on youtube.
95. breaking your f*** finger.
96. breaking your f*** video game consoles.
97. breaking your f*** computer screen.
98. having sex.
99. being a virgin and hating yourself for being a virgin.
100. not posting on stupid, banal, insipid, autistic forums.

4) contribute to the community. are you good at art farts? do you make music? are you a talented editor who actually makes their own codes instead of stealing s*** from tumblr? then share your talent with the community and make a patreon so you can make serious bank from these disgusting wee---i mean take requests for free. that other part is for tumblr and deviantart. no one on this site has money.

5) have a sense of humor. nothing wrong with memes once and a while!

6) staying on task. a user who doesn't derail a thread is a user that makes me happy about life.

7) this one means a lot to me; READ THE OTHER POSTS IN THE DAMN THREAD. now, this only applies to threads such as my excellent kids these days forum. if the thread in question has multiple posts of users arguing or something, at least read those f*** posts instead of just reposting something that's either already been said or already been disproven.

8) question each other and be open to change. question why users have a specific opinion on something and be open to changing your opinion about something you consider the other person's argument to be logically sound. for example, copcake in my aforementioned kids these days thread maturely responded to me disproving a claim he made and acted like an adult. don't go all "OH YEAH?! WELL UR A POOPY FACE" and be wrong and strong.

and now a short, comprehensive guide on what NOT to do to prove that you're a good user.
1) having a bunch of added friends. you'll never be friends with those people and you know it. you're literally wasting time by adding a bunch of people that you'll never speak to.
2) posting on literally every single thread excluding the threads that warrant actual discussion.
3) posting ONE sentence that contributes NOTHING to the thread. for example:

q: what's your favorite movie?
a: hard to choose :_;

q: is there a thin line between genius and insanity?
a: idk but interesting question~

q: did you like the new star wars movie?
a: star trek is better (this type of response specifically is garbage because there is literally nothing about the question that has anything to do with star trek, and yet the user continued to bring it up anyway)
4) complaining about the current state of the website even if it's a point that's already been made a thousand times.
5) complaining about something that everyone already complains about. if you're going to be bitchy, then be like me and bitch about stuff that no one bitches about. for example, every reasonable person on the planet hates fairy tail. we get it. the show sucks. a better thing to complain about is ergo proxy. complain about the tails of series, not sonic 06 for the one thousandth time.

i think that's it. i may edit this but i'm pretty content with the current state of this comprehensive guide to becoming a better user. and let me address the point that at least one person is going to make in response to this thread: I am already aware that this thread is based on opinion and is not objective. jesus christ.

Venerable

Re: ruffles's guide to becoming a better user

Post by Venerable » 02 Apr 2016, 18:18

Guide to Becoming a Good User:

Read the dang forums (seriously people) and if you make a bad post, prepare to get the flaming seat of lectures because I'm comin' fo' ya booty.
#EndPost

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Parinoid
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Re: ruffles's guide to becoming a better user

Post by Parinoid » 02 Apr 2016, 18:24

can you add not being sofloantonio or prankinvasion on here please
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Venerable

Re: ruffles's guide to becoming a better user

Post by Venerable » 02 Apr 2016, 18:25

Higher wrote:
Venerable wrote:Guide to Becoming a Good User:

Read the dang forums (seriously people) and if you make a bad post, prepare to get the flaming seat of lectures because I'm comin' fo' ya booty.
#EndPost

SLAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY DAT BOOTY
Haha.

But in all honesty, this is still one of the most concise, brutal, too the point posts I've seen in a long time (still). ruffles / Fawk is that "To the point" type of user that I love to see on websites. (And he/she's got memes too). ♡

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BatmanTheDarkKnight
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Re: ruffles's guide to becoming a better user

Post by BatmanTheDarkKnight » 02 Apr 2016, 18:26

Why bring up this topic again?
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Space
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Re: ruffles's guide to becoming a better user

Post by Space » 02 Apr 2016, 18:28

BatmanTheDarkKnight wrote:Why bring up this topic again?
So you can become a better user.~


// Highly enjoyed reading this, ruffles. It has humor, but is straight to the point. I shall take some of these to mind.
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ruffles
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Re: ruffles's guide to becoming a better user

Post by ruffles » 02 Apr 2016, 18:29

BatmanTheDarkKnight wrote:Why bring up this topic again?
you already posted your bait in the last thread, don't ruin this one please
6) staying on task. a user who doesn't derail a thread is a user that makes me happy about life.

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BatmanTheDarkKnight
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Re: ruffles's guide to becoming a better user

Post by BatmanTheDarkKnight » 02 Apr 2016, 18:32

ruffles wrote:
BatmanTheDarkKnight wrote:Why bring up this topic again?
you already posted your bait in the last thread, don't ruin this one please
6) staying on task. a user who doesn't derail a thread is a user that makes me happy about life.
I'm not ruining anything.I'm just asking a simple question in why making a topic about how to be a good user when you aren't exactly a * good user* so to speak.
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ruffles
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Re: ruffles's guide to becoming a better user

Post by ruffles » 02 Apr 2016, 18:33

BatmanTheDarkKnight wrote:
ruffles wrote:
BatmanTheDarkKnight wrote:Why bring up this topic again?
you already posted your bait in the last thread, don't ruin this one please
6) staying on task. a user who doesn't derail a thread is a user that makes me happy about life.
I'm not ruining anything.I'm just asking a simple question in why making a topic about how to be a good user when you aren't exactly a * good user* so to speak.
6) staying on task. a user who doesn't derail a thread is a user that makes me happy about life.

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Seraph
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Re: ruffles's guide to becoming a better user

Post by Seraph » 02 Apr 2016, 18:35

BatmanTheDarkKnight wrote:
ruffles wrote:
BatmanTheDarkKnight wrote:Why bring up this topic again?
you already posted your bait in the last thread, don't ruin this one please
6) staying on task. a user who doesn't derail a thread is a user that makes me happy about life.
I'm not ruining anything.I'm just asking a simple question in why making a topic about how to be a good user when you aren't exactly a * good user* so to speak.
Be real with me, how many users are there that actually are 'good users'?

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